The Nine-State Solution — Tinyism’s Answer to the Palestine / Israel Problem
by Hank Pellissier and Jonah F2014 with help from Joern Pallensen
Tinyism is a political philosophy that believes current empires and nations should be fractured, shattered, dissolved into thousands of independent micro-states and city-states. This action would vastly-improve democracy and enhance economies — recent statistics indicate small nations are usually the happiest, wealthiest, and most peaceful. Tinyism is similar to the ideologies of Localism, and Municipalism.
Palestine / Israel is certainly one of the world’s ugliest quagmires; a Gordian knot of violent dysfunction. For years, a two-state solution has been suggested, but all efforts in this direction pitifully collapse. A one-state solution is also absurdly recommended. HA! Tinyists regard this narrative as heading in the wrong direction.
We suggest a Nine-State Solution of peaceful, democratic, autonomous micro-states. Please welcome the nations below:
GAZA: This minuscule region of 2 million people is over-crowded; it deserves more land so we’re giving it an adjacent chunk of the Negev, based on the first United Nations treaty. Gaza has a 5,000 year old history (Canaanites, Egyptians, Philistines, Assyrians, Greeks, Bedouins, Nabateans, Romans, Aranbs, Crusaders, Mongols, Ottomans, British) plus Mediterranean beaches, curious tunnels, and world-wide sympathy. Hamas must be replaced to establish cordial relations with Egypt and the eight new neighbors.
PALESTINE (aka West Bank): Deeply conflicted area of 2.9 million inhabitants residing in 167 Palestinian “islands” and 230 Israeli settlements. Economy will be based on the 29% of the land that is arable, and tourism. (Dead Sea visitor’s cash will finally benefit Palestinians; Israel has been brazenly keeping 93% of that revenue. Bethlehem and Jericho are also top religious draws) The 400,000 Jewish colonists must be relocated entirely out of here; this opinion isn’t extreme, it’s held by the majority of legal scholars plus the European Union and almost every other international entity. Jerusalem CANNOT be the capitol; Ramallah is the preferred candidate.
TEL AVIV (current Tel Aviv District): Wealthy, secular, and progressive, this colorful metropolis-nation of 1.4 million — dubbed the “Mediterranean Capitol of Cool by the New York Times — can happily separate its future from the black-garbed ultra orthodox attracted to Mosaic traditional laws, via complete independence. Vibrant nightlife, tasty cuisine, gay pride, music, and art museums will establish this young cultural center in the top-tier of the tiny city-state class, like a Singapore with fewer fines, or a Monaco with falafels.
SHARON VALLEY (current Central Israel District): Surrounding Tel Aviv with similar beaches, hipness, digital know-how, and industrial parks is this 88% Jewish population of 2.2 million residents, often dubbed “Little Russia” due to the large number of immigrants who made aliyah after the fall of the Soviet Union. Additionally, there are Ethiopian Jews and Yemenite Jews in Rehovot, Karachi Pakistan Jews in Ramla, and 70,000 Orthodox Jews in Petah Tikva. The capitol can be Rishon LeZion — it’s already a fiscally autonomous city!
NEGEV (current Southern Israel District): This region of 1.1 million (80% Jewish, 13% Muslim) comprises more than 50% of current Israel’s land mass; it can easily accommodate more inhabitants, like ‘settlers’ removed from the West Bank. Beersheba can remain the capital, with Eilat on the Red Sea as top tourist destination, plus visits to Bedouins and kibbutzim. Negev has enormous interest to geologists — it’s the oldest surface on Earth (1.8 million years), and to biologists — wildlife includes leopards, wolves, jackals, gazelles, ibex, oryx, and Asiatic wild ass.
HAIFA (current Haifa District): The 1 million residents of this cargo harbor and its environs thrive economically, due to the current jingle: “Haifa works, Jerusalem prays, Tel Aviv plays.” Heavy industry, high tech parks, petroleum refining, and chemical processing provide the backbone. Haifa is oft-used as an example of religious harmonious coexistence; although majority Jewish, it has significant populations of Muslim, Druze, Christian, and Baha’i. Road signs in Haifa city are in Hebrew, Arabic, English, and Cyrillic to assist Greek Melkites and Orthodox and the 25% Russian community.
KINNERET aka GALILEE (the current Northern Israel District, minus Nazareth and the Golan Heights): Religious demographics in this proposed micro-nation of 1.3 million are potentially volatile; the estimate is 44% Jews, 37% Muslims, 8% Druze, and 7% Christian, plus Baha’i. Note that Golan Heights must be returned to Syria (only USA acknowledges Israel’s claim) and Nazareth needs to be a separate entity. Religious centers need to be respected: Tiberius for Judaism, and Akko Old Town for Islam. If its peaceful, religious tourism can buttress the economy.
NAZARETH (current city limits): Riots between Arabs and Jews in 2003, 2014, and 2031 indicate international supervision is needed for the 77,000 inhabitants that are 40% Jewish, 40% Muslim, and 20% Christian. Politically the small city-state would require a fully-transparent democracy, with a legal system (judges and lawyers) and police force provided by the United Nations, for as long as necessary. Economically, it’s clear this childhood home of Jesus, founder of the world’s largest religion, has enormous potential, if comfortable safety is guaranteed.
JERUSALEM (current Jerusalem District): Yikes! This hotspot, this fanatically inflamed boil of 1.1 million residents cannot be mis-managed, or it will explode. Jerusalem has Nazareth problems, multiplied exponentially, requiring similar care. Secular democracy modeled on Rojava confederalism is ideal, because it provides self-governance to every demographic. Free, easy access to the Temple Mount is essential. The recent UN budget of 3.2 billion can help keep the peace here; it’s helpful participation in Jerusalem was previously suggested by Israel in 2000.
REPARATIONS & RIGHT OF RETURN?
The Applied Research Institute of Jerusalem claims $9 billion per year is lost by Palestinians, due to the occupation, and Danish blogger Joern Pallensen suggests “a massive economic compensation in the order of $55–100 billion in exchange for giving up on the right of return.” These amounts aren’t really that huge, when one notices that Apple and Saudi Aramco are each worth over 2.1 trillion.
Iceland (352,721) and Luxembourg (607,950) are highly successful nations, with smaller populations than every micro-state I’ve suggested above, except Nazareth, which would still be the same size as Andorra (78,000) and twice as big as Monaco or Liechtenstein. If troubles persist in the nine entities I suggest, secessions can be encouraged to create tinier and tinier autonomous units.
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